DETROIT, MI — The Detroit Lions will face the Carolina Panthers on Sunday night in what the NFL is billing as a divisional showdown with significant playoff implications.
Dot Kessler has thoughts.
Not about the game, specifically. But about the cats.
“People keep asking me about the spread,” said Kessler, 79, reached at her home where she was in the middle of what she described as “a very important brushing situation” involving Sir Pounce. “I don’t know anything about the spread. What I know is that we have a lion and a panther on the same field and nobody is talking about what that means.”
What it means, according to Kessler, is everything.
The lion, she explained, setting down her brush and picking up what appeared to be a laminated reference card she keeps for occasions such as this, is the undisputed king of the African savanna. Majestic. Authoritative. Possessed of a mane that Kessler described as “honestly giving me ideas for Mr. Fluffington’s next grooming appointment.”
“The lion is a social animal,” Kessler noted, with the gravity of someone delivering breaking news. “They live in prides. They work together. There is something deeply moving about a creature that understands the value of community.” She paused. “Detroit could learn from that. I’m just saying.”
The panther, however, presents what Kessler called “a compelling counter-argument.”
“People don’t appreciate the panther,” she said, shaking her head. “The panther is sleek. The panther is silent. The panther does not announce itself. It simply arrives.” She gestured meaningfully at Barbara, her eldest cat, who was sitting in the corner doing nothing and somehow making it look intentional. “Barbara is very panther energy. I mean that as the highest compliment.”
Panthers, Kessler continued, are solitary creatures, independent, self-sufficient, and in possession of what she called “an elegance that frankly most NFL franchises cannot match.” She declined to name specific franchises.
Unlike the lion, who communicates through roaring. “Bold, yes, effective, certainly, but perhaps a bit much for a Tuesday”, the panther operates in silence, which Kessler noted she respects deeply, particularly after 7pm when Mr. Whiskers is trying to sleep.
Both animals, she was careful to note, are extraordinary.
“I don’t want anyone to think I’m taking sides,” said Kessler, who had by this point moved to her recliner with Mr. Fluffington on her lap. “I love them both. A lion once looked directly at me at the Cincinnati Zoo in 1987 and I have never fully recovered. But a panther — ” she trailed off, staring into the middle distance. “A panther sees you back.”
As for Sunday’s game, Kessler confirmed she would be watching, primarily to see which mascot gets more screen time.
“I’ve written a letter to the network,” she said. “I do this every week. They have not responded. I will write again.”
She closed her notebook, adjusted Sir Pounce, and turned to face the camera directly.
“My question for you,” she said, “is simple. Lion or panther. Which animal do you like best? Which magnificent cat speaks to your soul?”
“I’d like to know. I have a spreadsheet.”
— Dorothea “Dot” Kessler, Senior Feline Correspondent
“If it doesn’t have whiskers, it doesn’t have her coverage.”
